Warrior’s Letter from the Battlefield of Healing

I sit in the dark,

not trembling, not torn,

but calm in the place

where my fire was born.

 

A space that once crushed me

now lets me breathe,

its silence a blanket

I no longer grieve.

 

The warmth still lingers,

not because I stayed,

but because healing

refused to let me fade.

 

You said it feels

like I pull away,

like I wince at your touch

or will not let you stay.

 

You said, so softly,

you wanted more

something different

than what came before.

 

 

Your words struck deep,

like a bell in the storm,

familiar and sharp,

a too well-worn form.

 

Not because they’re wrong,

but because they’re known,

echoes of moments

I faced alone.

 

And fear returned

with a voice like flame.

"They are leaving again,"

it whispered my name.

 

But I am not running,

not hiding my face.

I am standing my ground.

I am holding this space.

 

I am fighting more fiercely than hell

to stay in the light,

to stay in the moment,

to stay in the fight.

 

What feels like distance

is only my breath,

a pause for my soul

to step back from death.

 

It is not rejection,

so do not be misled.

It is me finding life

where I once was dead.

 

If I retreat,

it is not to flee,

but to sit with the man

who fought to be free.

 

The one who rose

from betrayal’s tomb,

who swept out the dust

from abandonment’s room.

 

I do not leave you

when I go within.

I ground myself

so love can begin.

 

So I do not get lost

in the wreckage I knew.

So I can show up.

I will show up for you.

 

You ask if I love you.

I do. I decide.

Let that sink in

not out of hunger,

but with battle worn pride.

 

This is not a feeling

that flickers and fades.

This is a promise

that fire has made.

 

I do not chase.

I have chosen you

with eyes wide open,

not from the shadows

but standing in truth.

 

What I have chosen,

I claim and consume

to hold you firm hands fully,

body, mind, and soul in bloom.

 

To own you deeply,

fierce like a pyre,

to kindle within you

an unquenchable fire.

 

I choose not out of weakness,

nor out of loneliness or need to survive.

I love you because

I am fire...fully alive.

 

You see me quiet

and think I am gone,

but silence is where

my courage was drawn.

 

You say I feel distant.

I say take my hand.

I laid down my sword

so beside you I could stand.

 

No, I am not soft,

but I am real.

Not numb, not cold

just learning to feel.

 

I was broken,

shattered and torn,

but I was reforged

and reborn.

 

My cracks now burn

with strength, not shame,

a warrior carved

in fire and flame.

 

I have danced with demons,

stared them down,

broke their chains.

Now...I wear their crown.

 

I have sat with pain

until it spoke,

and found the truth

in what it broke.

 

So if I stand beside you now,

believe this vow:

I choose you then.

I choose you now.

 

This is not a show,

nor a pretty refrain.

It is written in fire,

in loss and in pain.

 

It is sealed in scars

and signed in grace,

from a warrior healed

in a shadowed place.

 

Still holding love

in weathered hands,

still learning how to understand.